Wow it's been a while, a lot has happened in Kobe's world of Autism.
We are now a single parent family, which is hard on therapy(time wise). I feel like a terrible mother for not having more time to spend one on one with Kobe doing his ABA and PRT therapies with him. I have a great family who helps me immensely, however when the other kids want me, what do you do?
I'm the only one in the house who knows how to do his therapies. I hope that soon we will have a therapist come to the house and help.
I know that we were getting a lot of hours of therapy time in AZ, plus the diets, and SARRC was a lot closer. I had zero time for myself. I know a lot of moms say that, but I really didn't. I had 3 kids in 3 years(not planned), the oldest has Autism(also not planned). My husband was in grad school and worked full time (plus had his social life, and girls on the side)(really not planned).
I was alone, not alone alone. I had my kids, and other than the therapists, I had nobody. All Kobe's success's and non success's fell on to me. I could only do so much and be so many places. I had almost no friends there, I didn't have time for them. I didn't have any sort of a support system. somewhere I lost who I was, I stopped going to church. it was too hard by myself. I was unhappy with everyone around me and mean and angry if everything didn't go as planned. I needed control over something.I decided it would be food. I only bought foods that were organic, all gluten/casein free, also no artificial colors or flavors or preservatives. No high fructose corn syrup, no corn, no carbs and no/low sugars. Everything had to be natural and fresh. My kids are picky eaters, wouldn't eat it. I would fight with them every single meal! It was exhausting, to say the least.
I hope someday I have it all. The wonderful support system I have here in Cedar, and the awesome therapists who work so hard with Kobe like we had in AZ.
Since May, when I finally left Jed, I have slacked off as far as Autism goes. I finally got myself to a place that I am now officially 100% happy. I hope now I can move on and get Kobe the help he needs. So far he has been doing great at preschool. He loves it so much. He has also learned to follow a simple task, and that is "throw away in the trash" You might think its an easy one to learn or teach, but you are mistaken. To say that he loves or oranges would be a bit of an understatement govnah! He peels oranges and throws them wherever he feels like it. I have to follow him around the house cleaning up. I finally got fed up and decided he needed to learn to peel them over the garbage. He has finally mastered it! WHOO HOO!
We are still in the drug study and were going to Phx once every month, but now we only have to go once every 3 months. I was going to ask to transfer to a place closer, but I love Dr. Melmed, Nurse Janet, Sharmin and Sarah so much! They have helped so so much with more than just the drug trial. I wish they would all just move to Cedar, but then I wouldn't have a reason to get out of town and into the city as often. I love Cedar so much, but sometimes this place seems so small
2 comments:
Cedar is so small but big things come in small packages. I'm just glad you're back. Maybe this is just what the doctor ordered for Kobe. Maybe he needs to be surrounded by people that love him and will support him and you. Time will tell. Love ya!
Wow, I had no idea what was going on in your life until I got on Kenzie's blog. I can't imagine what you are going through. It's funny how you wonder why things happen to you and you often feel like everybody elses lives are perfect until you truly can't handle your situation anymore and you ask for help or you just start to really look and then you get to hear other peoples stories and you are so humbled. It's hard sometimes, it least for me, not to feel angry at God....and then I remember that he doesn't give us anything that we can't handle....the trick is to rely on him. Ok, I totally sound churchy!lol I am normally not at all like that! But the only thing that gives me strength with our issues is Heavenly Father....I am sure its the same for you. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and that you are in my prayers:) We should get a bunch of girls together and go to a movie or something! Call me:) 435-590-0220
Post a Comment